Not so insecure anymore...

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
— Audre Lorde

I’ve never been one to advocate for myself nor initiative ideas. I’m one of the rare Americans that don’t like to take a bold lead, but rather observe and find where I fit. Most the times, I don’t consider myself a leader and struggle with social anxiety. I second guess what I say and never can decide where to eat. When I walk into a room, I shrink. I’m okay with being in a room full of people, reading my favorite book.

Top and Leggings: Forever21 | Jacket: Goodwill | Hat: Lemon Tree Frog

Top and Leggings: Forever21 | Jacket: Goodwill | Hat: Lemon Tree Frog

In spite of all my shyness, I started 5thmindyoga last October. I been practicing on my own for a few years by then and finished my 200 HR training. What led me to identify as 5thmind was 1. a crazy book I read about quantum physics and 2. an experience I had that led me to a new becoming and evolution.

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So why 5thmind?

When I started 5thmindyoga I was in a very broken place. I had just gotten out of an unhealthy relationship. The break up had me feeling debased and objectified to “just a girl.” This prompted me to overcome my typical passivity and initiate a movement of wellness and self love for myself.

I promoted this transformation on social media, began meeting new people who were also doing the work, and from there, began seeking out venues to host pop up yoga classes.

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The biggest lesson learned was not about heartbreak, but more about the power of self validation and self becoming—this all begins with self love.

 

5thmind was my stand to confidence. I was in a relationship where I felt very submissive and compromised much of my self worth. There’s nothing wrong with inviting a break up to be a catalyst. The biggest lesson learned was not about heartbreak, but more about the power of self validation and self becoming--this all begins with self love. Ironically, I lost my pride, so had every reason to invest in myself. The most daunting experiences was curating my own events. My first class was at Delicious Pizza in the Infinity Room (which is where I still have my weekly classes).

As I pursue my growth in yogi and instructor, I realize that the journey was made for me. Walking this path leads to my own healing and epiphany of my greater self. Though I stepped into this as a way to distract myself from my insecurity, it became the very source of my strength. I'm learning to not be afraid. To dream my visions and to live them out. Its a step by step process and I relapse often into deep moments of self doubt and depression. 

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Growth comes from:

  • surrounding myself with my loved ones

  • journaling my dreams and monitoring my bad thoughts/habits

  • reminding myself that my best self exists 

  • consistently investing in myself in all seasons

  • having much grace on myself

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Some tips for the "don't have enough discipline" or "almost vegans"...

It all started in February when I began the journey of becoming vegetarian. I got out of a bad breakup in October and needed to focus on a positive outlet. I refused to get into a drunk spiral of doubt and insecurity. Though rebounding is inevitable, my motivations were to remain self empowering and self caring. I had already spent two years of my emotions and energy in expending and giving love to my prior relationship; this was my time to give for myself. I look back now and a pedicure or retreat may have been sufficient, but the hardcore resilience in me beckoned me to engage in a practice of intense self-control and elevation. This marked the journey of gradually transitioning into a vegan diet.

Before I go on, it is important to note that prior to becoming a vegetarian, I already incorporated veggies in almost all my meals. So the transition wouldn't be too drastic. In this blog, I won't touch upon the political reasons behind the lifestyle, but aim to make becoming vegan seem achievable for anyone!

tip 1: start with a VEGETERIAN DIET

An all veggie diet was not so hard. Even though Korean BBQ is the shit, I felt energized and the trade off was worthwhile. In addition, I fell in love with eggs. My body craved protein. 

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STEP 2: HIGH PROTEIN FOOD

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We all think of beans when we think about protein, but greens also have some too! 1 cup of spinach has 5.35 grams of protein, while kale has 3 grams in a cup!

YOOO. These are fire. 1 oz. has 4 grams of protein. Low calorie and high protein....YES.

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i used to hate peanut butter, but my body craves it now! I eat this everyday. 

tip 3: supplements

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Don't be afraid to get some help from some supplements! Especially if you are active! This one's my favorite. Taste good and sometimes I mix with my coffee!

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Spirulina is my go to. Vitamins are cool. I take multi-vitamin pills, whatever is on sale. But, I notice a difference in my energy level when  am taking these supplements. For some reason, anytime I get cancor sores or sore teeth (this happened once I became vegan) I take Spirulina pills and heal quicker.

TIP 4: Vegan Patties and Veggies on the side 

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High protein and I LOVE eating this with a side of veggies, or wrapped up nicely in a burrito. 

TIP 5: Make Vegan Friends!!

It's good to have someone to check out new restaurants, recipes, and share the burden (at times) of vegan life. 

BENEFITS

    Body:

  • Less cramps before period

  • Decrease of bloating in stomach

  • Less swelling of hands and feet

  • Leaner muscles  (I workout almost everyday)

  • DEEPER YOGA PRACTICE (TWISTS BECOME EASIER. I ALSO HAVE MORE CONTROL OF MY CORE)

 

    Mind:

  • Deep concentration is easier to access

  • Not so emotional and anxiety has decreased

  • Move slower; think slower - quality of thoughts increased

  • Self monitoring and awareness

 

Yes I miss meat. I also miss the feeling of being FULL, which I only got from eating a big steak or all you can eat Korean BBQ. In spite of missing out of these feelings, I am satisfied--no regrets--of the vegan diet. It not only brings clarity to the mind and body, but also instills a life long reminder to take care of myself and love myself first. Though it was heart break that led me here, it was me, myself, and all that I am who has found home in a space of infinite becoming.