I’ve never been one to advocate for myself nor initiative ideas. I’m one of the rare Americans that don’t like to take a bold lead, but rather observe and find where I fit. Most the times, I don’t consider myself a leader and struggle with social anxiety. I second guess what I say and never can decide where to eat. When I walk into a room, I shrink. I’m okay with being in a room full of people, reading my favorite book.
In spite of all my shyness, I started 5thmindyoga last October. I been practicing on my own for a few years by then and finished my 200 HR training. What led me to identify as 5thmind was 1. a crazy book I read about quantum physics and 2. an experience I had that led me to a new becoming and evolution.
So why 5thmind?
When I started 5thmindyoga I was in a very broken place. I had just gotten out of an unhealthy relationship. The break up had me feeling debased and objectified to “just a girl.” This prompted me to overcome my typical passivity and initiate a movement of wellness and self love for myself.
I promoted this transformation on social media, began meeting new people who were also doing the work, and from there, began seeking out venues to host pop up yoga classes.
5thmind was my stand to confidence. I was in a relationship where I felt very submissive and compromised much of my self worth. There’s nothing wrong with inviting a break up to be a catalyst. The biggest lesson learned was not about heartbreak, but more about the power of self validation and self becoming--this all begins with self love. Ironically, I lost my pride, so had every reason to invest in myself. The most daunting experiences was curating my own events. My first class was at Delicious Pizza in the Infinity Room (which is where I still have my weekly classes).
As I pursue my growth in yogi and instructor, I realize that the journey was made for me. Walking this path leads to my own healing and epiphany of my greater self. Though I stepped into this as a way to distract myself from my insecurity, it became the very source of my strength. I'm learning to not be afraid. To dream my visions and to live them out. Its a step by step process and I relapse often into deep moments of self doubt and depression.
Growth comes from:
surrounding myself with my loved ones
journaling my dreams and monitoring my bad thoughts/habits
reminding myself that my best self exists
consistently investing in myself in all seasons
having much grace on myself